Stop waiting for others to give you permission.

Are you worried about what everyone else is thinking about you?

Why is it that so many of us put the expectations of others above our own. Why do we put so much value, effort, and time into making sure we lead a life where people think highly of us?

Call it insecurity. Call it whatever you want…but it’s robbing you from achieving your ultimate happiness.

As selfish humans, we tend to make everything about ourselves. Even when we do nice things for other people, we’re probably thinking a lot about the eventual praise we’re bound to achieve by making time to do it.

We get in a pattern of how people think of us, and BOOM, suddenly we’re afraid to rock that boat. We’ve got a reputation to maintain now, right?

Step outside of yourself

I want you to put your pride, ego, insecurity, or whatever else (myself included) aside for a moment.

Pretend you are someone else.

Look at yourself and think on what you see…

Look at how you act, love, squirm, laugh, cry, blow up, and get pissed off.

Things start to look a bit different right? You see from the vantage point of presentational observation rather than through the lens of complex emotions. You see the facts over feelings.

You start to observe how you behave, and what to expect from this version of yourself. You analyze the behavior you are seeing as it happens. But are you concerned about what this version of yourself is dreaming about? Are you worried about what this version of yourself cares to challenge, risk, or chase down?

I doubt it.

My point? Nobody is thinking from your perspective. They’re only reacting to how you treat theirs.

We’re all selfish…all focused on ourselves.

You’re in charge of your own happiness

So if we now realize that everything we fear about what others may think about us (if we’re being real here) is a complete distraction, formulated by our own insecurity, how do we get on the path to “F*** my mis-informed feelings”?

Realize that people are only going to focus on how you positively, or negatively affect them.

You are in charge of your own happiness. You’re the one who says whether you can dream bigger. You’re the one who has to own your life, making it successful, or an utter failure because you’re waiting on someone else’s permission.

Keep a solid perspective

When thinking about starting a business, most people start off by doubting themselves. It doesn’t matter who they are, what they’ve done, or who’s supporting them…we inherently doubt the idea of success at least a little bit.

There might be cases where people have legitimately told you “you’re a failure, you won’t succeed”.

Only idiots say things like this…

They’re projecting their own insecurities and doing their damn’ist to make themselves feel better by knocking you down. Forget about these people, they were never going to support you anyways, and only cloud judgement.

Then there are people who build up, support, spur-on, and fight for the reality that you’re going to change the world. While this is great, our brains can very quickly play tricks…

In both cases, we tend to listen to people too much.

“10 years ago, so-and-so said I was “dumb and would never make it as an entrepreneur”…what if I try, fail, and then they’ll be right and laugh at me?”

These people are not thinking about you. You’re dragging around a ghost of something somebody said at one point in time while living in a completely self-absorbed state of mind. What they said probably had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with how they felt about themself!

Don’t live for these people’s permission or blessing. They won’t give it. They have no idea how.

My sister told me I can do anything; that I’m smarter and more creative than any of my friends. She expects me to succeed…but what if I try, fail, and disappoint her? I’ll have totally let her down!

God bless your sister…it’s beautiful that she believes in you, but don’t do something in life to please others, or else you’ll forget who YOU are, and what YOU want to achieve.

It’s so easy to let positive affirmation turn you into a people-pleasing, self-absorbed monster. You’re used to hearing the good, and you want to keep hearing it…so you put yourself in situations where you know you’ll receive more.

But is this what you wanted? Did you even want to go into business? Is this what brings you happiness? Are you addicted to the praise?

It’s a balancing act

While you shouldn’t live for the love and permission of others, you also shouldn’t live only for yourself. Understand that nobody cares about what you care about to the degree you do.

I can’t make your dreams come true.

I can’t experience what you’ll experience if you do.

So why place so much weight on what myself, your family, or friends “might” think? Heck, being an insecure feeling, it might not even be true! They might not think what you fear at all!

Why give everyone but yourself the permission to chase after something that you love? Why give your insecurities to the world, when it’s a 99% chance that nobody is thinking of them except you?

People like to talk, and talk is cheap. For you to make your goals happen, you’re going to have to put in the work and forget about what others might or do think.

Don’t cripple or doubt yourself based on something that someone else said.

Stop waiting for someone to give you permission to try something. It’s not going to happen. It’s not their place. It’s solely yours.

Pick up the slack and stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking…because you’re lost on them. They’re only thinking of themselves in this same manner / cycle of insecurity.

So break out! You owe it to yourself.

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